Ahoy! I just signed up for Boater’s Safety Class. So, I’m putting it out there for everyone. I will be operating a small Boston Whaler on Barnegat Bay this summer so please give me some room. It’s in your best interest.

 It’s not the Bay that gets me worried.  I feel like I know that place like the back of my hand. (At least, my part of the Bay.) The thing that has me a bit nervous is docking the boat when I’m done.  I know that sounds so simple, but it’s not! And worse, I will always have an audience. No matter what, somebody in the neighborhood will see me. Thankfully, they won’t be able to hear me since the grinding and cracking of fiberglass against the dock will be louder.

Now, you are probably thinking that boating is fun (and voluntary). Why is she worried about this? That is a good question. Boating is fun. It’s awesome to skim across the water. The thing about boats is that they don’t have brakes. If you want to slow down, you have to ease up on the gas. My problem is that I’m used to little sailboats. When I want to stop sailing, I let out the sails, jump in the water, and tie my little boat up to the buoy. Easy peasy. It doesn’t work that way with motorboats. They are too big. And you usually have guests aboard. They don’t want to get wet. They want to use a dock. They also would like to get on land NOW because they have to go to the bathroom. Worse, you might have teenagers on board (or watching from next door). And we all know there is nothing funnier than watching a flustered parent sink. What a scary pun!